"Christ, seven years of college, down the drain." - John Belushi
- "What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for." - Irish Proverb
- "Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake." - W.C. Fields
- "Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough." - Mark Twain
- "Tell me what brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals." - Abraham Lincoln
- "Let's drink to California, way out by the sea, Where a woman's ass, and a whiskey glass, Made a horse's ass of me." - Anonymous (not that Anonymous)
- "Sure I eat what I advertise. Sure I eat Wheaties for breakfast. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon can't be beat."
- "For God's sake bring me a large Scotch. What a bloody awful country." - Reginald Maudling
- "For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda." - Phyllis Battelle
- "I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis." - Humphrey Bogart
- "There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong." - Ron White
- "Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty." - Joe E. Lewis
- "The devil invented Scotch whiskey to make the Irish poor." - Irish saying
- "It's an Irish whiskey… it's still mean." - Bitmonk, on The Tyrconnell (originally Chris Daly on Powers )
- "'Making rules about drinking can be the sign of an alcoholic,' as Martin Amis once teasingly said to me. (Adorno would have savored that, as well.) Of course, watching the clock for the start-time is probably a bad sign, but here are some simple pieces of advice for the young. Don't drink on an empty stomach: the main point of the refreshment is the enhancement of food. Don't drink if you have the blues: it's a junk cure. Drink when you are in a good mood. Cheap booze is a false economy. It's not true that you shouldn't drink alone: these can be the happiest glasses you ever drain. Hangovers are another bad sign, and you should not expect to be believed if you take refuge in saying you can't properly remember last night. (If you really don't remember, that's an even worse sign.) Avoid all narcotics: these make you more boring rather than less and are not designed—as are the grape and the grain—to enliven company. Be careful about up-grading too far to single malt Scotch: when you are voyaging in rough countries it won't be easily available. Never even think about driving a car if you have taken a drop. It's much worse to see a woman drunk than a man: I don't know quite why this is true but it just is. Don't ever be responsible for it." - Christopher Hitchens